Mental Notes

Early this morning, I had to take a nap between classes.  I was so tired because I went to bed late because of work and I was up most of the time because my daughter was restless in bed (She's kind of sick right now). During that nap, I had a really vivid dream that went this way: I was in a home of  a Korean student that I was tutoring (man-to-man - which is far different from what I'm really doing).  And she made some kind of mistake and her mom was charging up to her speaking or more like, yelling at her and holding a broom in one hand.  My student was about to cry and I kind of figured out that her mother is angry at her for making a mistake.  Her mom was about to hit her on the back - not on the bottoms, but on her back  (I kind of figured that out to). And so I had to hug the student who was really scared, to wave off her mom.  I was kind of feeling scared of being hit too. They were speaking Korean at that time and couldn't understand any word. And then I woke u

I have been talking to my 12 year-old student for the two months now.  We are discussing about almost everything.  This week we were discussing about a woman who chose a poor guy over a rich one.  And my 12 year-old student think that it was a right choice just because the poor guy was a kind man.  She even mentioned that having or not having money is not a valid consideration.  According to her, it's not one of the criteria on choosing who to marry. And then, it hit me.  I'm making choices like a 12 year-old.  I was asking her questions and playing Devil's advocate just in case she wants to change her mind about her answers.  But she was pretty firm about her decision. It's acceptable to think that way ... if I was still 12 years old. But I'm already 20 years older than my student.  Somehow, it was a sad realization that I thought that her choice was not very practical and sadder even when I realized that I'm thinking the way she thinks. Money matters.  T

I have shun away from my friends from school especially the ones from graduate school.  I'm kind of ashamed of what I am right now.  I admit that I feel very unaccomplished and actually left behind.  Everyone is about to begin their practice because they have gone through their residency already.  And here I am, I am just about to start. Every time they ask me what I'm up to these days, I put all my effort in order to veer away from their question.  Currently, there are two friends of mine who are asking about how I'm doing and saying that I haven't answered their question yet.  Too bad, they don't easily forget.  Damn their smart brains.  LOL!  And until now, I'm being vague about my answers. When I started posting pictures of my daughter in social networks, they were all shocked that I have a baby already.  No one knew, not even my closest friends, that I was pregnant last year. Right now, I can say I'm kind of an expert in being invisible somehow.

  Art is self-expression. It is how one sees things. It has nothing to do with how others see it. The artist doesn't even have to explain it to anyone. Sometimes, the "audience" sees it as something else. The problem arises when the audience is narrow-minded --- seeing art as it is presented but not what is behind it. I am for freedom of expression. It is so sad that the church has to suppress it.