Friday, December 18, 2015

Bed Weather Today

Husband woke up at five this morning and as routine, I also get up from bed.  After realising that it was a Saturday and I don't have to get up from work, I instantly am wide awake.  Hugged my husband before making my own cup of coffee.  He has to go to work so early even if it was raining outside.

After getting ready, before getting out of the door, he sent a text message to his client Ryan who was scheduled for a 6am tennis game.  There was no reply.  He tried calling but phone cannot be reached.  He was not getting out of the house until he gets a reply.  He also called the activity center office to ask if the tennis courts were reserved for a certain company and found out that it was booked the whole morning.  And so, 6am class was not possible.

Ryan finally sent a response saying that it's okay to move the class at 1pm instead of 6am.

Hours after, Ryan and two more tennis players cancelled because of the weather.

Even though we need the income, I'm happy to have had breakfast and lunch with my husband here at home on a Saturday.  It doesn't happen very often.  Makes me happy.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Clan Wars

I've been addicted to this game for years now.  And I made my husband addicted to it too.  However, there was a time when we had given up on it.  I was busy with the training and I'd rather sleep in my free time and he basically found a newer game he'd wanted to try.

At that time, there was no clan wars.  We aimed for the town hall level 10 because we wanted to freely upgrade everything.  We didn't know that eventually, people will tell us that we had some kind of "T.H. Rush".

And now, two years after I decided to delete the app from the iPad, I downloaded it to the phone to see what the fuss was all about.

I joined a clan again just to be kicked out minutes later after they found out that I was in my late 30's already.  Saying that I was old before actually kicking me out.

The next clan I joined ended up the same way with me getting kicked out because according to them, I was just looting to which I beg to differ.  I didn't know that I had to attack the same numbered town.  I chose the town that I saw fits my skill (which is down to zero since I haven't played for two years already).

And now, I'm in this clan.  We aim for three stars.  I almost quit the clan since the girls were a bit mean calling me "noob" which I had to google because I didn't know exactly what it meant but I had a feeling it wasn't good.

I ended up ignoring them and playing in their wars until now.

You had to sacrifice the loot.  You aim for the stars.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Gift To Myself

It's a Sunday.  I'm at work.

My four year old daughter is with her grandma attending another kid's birthday party.

My husband is off to a tennis class.  Thank God for a livelihood today.  At least one of us is earning.

A family day without my family around.

I've been browsing the net here in the quarters hoping that I get to have an idea for my research which is long overdue already.  However, I still have nothing.  I was able to do other kinds of research on the internet.

I wanted to do a series of podcasts of my own and the moment I get to have a chance, I'm going to write articles for this podcast idea.  One idea should be supported by so many.

Let's see.  Well, I wanted to give myself something.  And I came up with something else to do besides think about my God-forsaken research.  (Lord, please send help).

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

No Thing

I have no use for this department.

I go in and I go out everyday without changing anything in the work place.

I don't contribute anything.

I have nothing to contribute.

I am not so sure if I'm so self-absorbed but I have so many problems to deal with that I can't seem to help other people with theirs.

For the next four months, I am in a post where there are no machinery.  That machinery has been long gone early this year.  And everyone who had been in this post all had time in their hands.

However, I have no time at all.

I have so many things to think about.  So many worries that I have to find solution to.

It is so overwhelming that I don't even know what direction to take.  Hence, I'm not moving anywhere.

Hearing people of their grand plans and I'm like, I have nothing. at. all.

So pathetic.  This is me.  That is how I am.

It would be so easy if I'm just living for myself.

However, I'm not.  It makes it extra hard and it makes it more worrisome.

How do I get unstuck? 

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Burning Bridges

I have burned so many bridges in this lifetime that I ran out of ways to cross to the other side.

People cannot live on their own. We all need someone.   That's the humbling truth.  We all think of ourselves as self-reliant.  However, there is a limit to our own resources.  We all need help to fill up what we could not provide.

When we were young, friendship means having somebody share your interest.  Friends share your victories as well as your struggles in your early life.  They're actually taking over the place of parents as confidants whether your parents like it or not.  They're the ones you turn to.

Young people surround themselves with the kind of people who seem fit to their taste.  They crave to be with other people.  It's like a security blanket for them.

For adults, friendship becomes a bit cynical.  We need "friends".  And our "friends" need us.  They are there to help you out.  You also need to send help as needed.

As we get older, we have "friends" we don't actually like.  We surround ourselves with people who will contribute to our growth as a human being.  And in order to be whole, we need to be exposed to the positive negativity too.

By the time we are older than old, we realise that we need to remove people who aren't good to us.  Good is a relative word.  When I say good, I mean those who wish the best for us.  They don't need to be likeable.   We maintain the people who is actually helping us grow more.  However, we spend less and less time with people who we have no "use" for.  

Older than old people that I know of, would like to keep to themselves in their personal space.  They don't let just anyone in their own circle.  A bit snobbish, yes.  They just don't want to be bothered, that's all.  But somehow everyone should also re-learn that we cannot stand alone.   Older than old people creates a tight circle until no one can fit in but themselves.  it comes to the point that they turn so lonely that it's not good for them anymore.

Bottomline is, we all need people.  Keep the ones that are important to us.  Never throw away those who matter.  Discern who matters in the first place.   Real friends are hard to find.  Some people don't even find them in this lifetime.  Best thing is, be a friend to yourself.  You will be there when you need you.    

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Extra Ticket

They've all gone to Boracay.  I bought a ticket for myself.

But I'm here at home, probably thankful for having a reason not to go.

I'm not even mad.  Just worried because of the expenses I made for this trip.

I got a call when they were still in the airport.  They just found out I'm not joining them.

And then I overheard the voice of somebody who brought his mistress with him on the trip.  I heard him say that I should have given the ticket to someone else if I wasn't planning to go.

I would give it freely to his children if they wanted to go with him.  Other than that, I'm keeping that ticket.

Saturday, April 25, 2015


How I love them.

I even welcome them.

However, they would cause my downfall.

It's going to delay any progress if I'm destined to have any.

I've got to turn away from them.

It's hard but if I did, I would be so glad that I did.