Mental Notes

I have this headache from all the stress of moving out of my parents house. I know everyone in this household already knows.  I'm moving out of my parents' home. They know that I'm moving my stuff and my daughter's piece by piece. I don't know the reason why I have to sneak out our things and switching off the CCTV camera controls in their bedroom before I try to load my getaway car - a hired cab - because I don't think there is no point at all.  However, I hate confrontation.  That is why, I have to move out our belongings when they're not around. Awhile ago, I had the false memo that everyone left already.  When I got out of my room to load the taxi that has arrived already in front of the house, I saw my brother going down the stairs.  I asked my nanny to see what my brother is doing and give me a go-signal if I'm good to go.  She ran up the stairs that my brother was in the kitchen eating his brunch.  So I took off with my heavy bags and ra...

I started to commute again using our national ride, the ever-reliable and ever-affordable Jeepney.  The last time I rode this was more than 10 years ago when I was still in college in UST.  And when you're commuting, your sun exposure is at its fullest.  And you know what they say about skin aging.  Uncontrolled sun rays are one of the major causes along with cigarette smoking or alcohol drinking. I'm way past the calendar days and in order to raise my market value (well, I'm not really up for sale, but still...), I'm trying to keep my skin cells turgid and not dried up.  I take up lotion like it's drinking water.  I have to be vigilant when it comes to saving my youth. It is actually vanity that make me do it.  I want to be healthy-looking rather than haggard.  Salute to all women who can pull it off.  Making "looking good" seems so easy when they're really not.

Almost everyone has problems.  It's magnitude is relative to the person dealing with it. Others might say that the problems of another are trivial in comparison to theirs.  "Ours" is always greater when it comes to "theirs".  I think it's the reason why we address our own first before those of other people.  Most of the time, we don't bother addressing other people's problems out of politeness or probably, indifference.   When we are not affected, it's best not to deal with it.   Today, I encountered a young lady who spoke weirdly when she approached me.  I found out afterwards that she drank a corrosive (namely, muriatic acid) in an attempt to commit suicide.  I didn't find out what the reason was and maybe, I won't be too nosy to ask.   I was being judgmental when I said it must be because of a boy.  It usually is.   I shouldn't have thought that way because there are other source of desperation and depression ...

A fellow resident doctor was asked to attend a seminar a few days ago.  It was only now that he told me that it was a Mass Casualty preparation.   He stated that before the seminar started, the consultant was citing a study done by the Japanese which revealed that once the Marikina Valley Fault Line takes effect, the whole of Manila will be destructed.  The region will be divided into four, all bridges, roads and airports will be destroyed and no one will be able to flee outside of Manila.  Infrastructures including homes and buildings will topple down.  The day after the Big One, at around 40,000 casualties will appear and maybe more.  All forms of communication will become nonexistent.  Everything is in chaos.   They didn't state when.   They only studied the effect of the fault line once this is disturbed.  We will never know when.  We just have to be ready for it.  Everyday.

Despite everything else, I feel secure enough that via will grow up with a sense of propriety even if she won't turn out to be the most successful. She just did her business in the toilet without any mess. I'm so proud of you anak.

Yesterday was almost doomsday for both of us.  I was caught cheating the second time with the same person.  I don't know why I keep doing it.  I'm not really like this.  I'm actually too old to fool around.  Besides, I'm appalled by my own actions thinking I'm the girl in the relationship.  I comply with our double standards.  If I was a guy, my ego would be elated thinking I could have more than one.  But since I'm the woman in this relationship, it just makes me a bit of a slut.  Although it hasn't come to THAT, my husband is thinking of the worst.  I love my husband although we are not married yet.  Maybe that's just it.  That's the thing that is missing.  I need to seal the deal already.  But in my heart, I know what will seal the deal.  It would be finally living together which we can't at the moment.   I love my husband.  And I cannot think of anything that would bring back his trust. ...

I am not the right person to work for peace processes. At work today, I was asking my batchmates, Dr.Alvin and Dr.Manny, to talk to the incoming chief about the discrepancies in our schedule of duties.  It's Christmas season and I was lucky enough that I got the Christmas-In deck and luckier to get the 24th of December off.  Unfortunately, luck ran out when the senior who was assigned to create the schedule wasn't smart enough to consider about the previous and official arrangements. And so, I asked the most diplomatic people around (that would be Manny and Alvin) to talk to her, the incoming!  And Alvin told me to do it myself.  Duh!  I'm too mad to do the begging.  And he said that I was right: I'm not diplomatic enough.  He said that being a columnist would suit me more instead.  Because with all my opinions and stands and issues in life (well, when it comes to the current workplace), I have a lot of them that it's hard to contain. But of...

It's been months since my last blog. This year is coming to a close and so much has happened already. My darling daughter has already turned two recently and I could not be more happier knowing that she's as healthy as a horse.  I'm looking forward to the days when I'm going to toughen her up (instead of fattening her up).  She definitely keeps me up on my feet and stand at attention at all times.  She seems like she's going to hurt herself sometimes which worries me so.  There's so much energy in my little sweetheart that it's so hard to contain her.  Luckily, her nanny a.k.a. her stepmom can actually handle her very easily. Work is relatively easy but I have to catch up on my reading ASAP.  As always, it's hard to start somewhere and sustain my reading momentum when it comes to reading academic books.  Oh, I forgot to say that I've been the chief complaint of a lot of people at work these days.  I have always been having trouble with...

There are a lot of people coming in and out of this hospital. The saddest people would be the ones without anyone looking after them in a time when they are in pain and practically helpless. Just now, a blast victim whose whole body sustained severe injuries are surrounded by a number of people that the staff had to tell them to wait outside. These people in spite of their condition will have greater chances if surviving.

Last week, there was a senseless commotion in the hospital lobby. People were waiting for a parade of staff dressed in gowns and suits (including our traditional Barongs). Anyway, I'm not particularly fond of crowds. But I am up for people getting together and gowns. I think if you can have a space of your own not having to share it with a couple of people then that would be much better. Kind of selfish? Most probably yes. But of course, I am willing to share eith people who are not that intrusive. Of course.

Wouldn't it be great to go through a tunnel lined with shelves of nice reading materials? I think it would be just like heaven itself. What a nice thought. I would even like to hang out in that tunnel and wait for my loved ones there. And then we could go to heaven altogether.

They have gone through a lot already in this life. That is why it pains me whenever I see them not enjoying the basic conveniences that they actually need. I saw an elderly commuter with a cane waiting for a public transportation to come his way. It would be good to know if he could afford a cab. But most people in this country could only afford the jeepney in which elders have to put more effort that they should conserve on order to get on and off of it. I pray for better strength for all of them. Discounts are not enough!

I was in the mall and passed by two magazine stalls today.  I was kind of hugging some issues, old and new but ended up buying nothing.  Instead, I spent hard-earned money in a couple of cheap paperbacks - one for my kid (who still cannot read) and one for me.  I guess I find the fictional books more interesting than the glossy pages of fashion and lifestyle of the elite circle of the country (and of another country).   I was so tempted, mind you.  Good thing, I didn't give in to my whim to buy something of no use at my age.  Maybe, to some other person, the glossy pages of pricey items and tips on sex and other activities of daily living are of high importance. And for me, the important thing is to buy something that will take me away from the reality of not being able to afford anything at all. ^_^

Whenever I have to stay in other places, I only hope for one thing: my own bathroom. I don't mind sharing spaces including the bedroom. I do mind sharing a bathroom. I'm not keen on using public bathrooms.  It's not that I'm squeamish. It's just that it is supposed to be something of your own. It's a very personal space so it's logical not to share it with just anyone. These days when the cost of living is so high in the city,  personal spaces are a luxury.  Sharing your stuff is the rule. Stuff that you are not using at the moment is not yours anymore. Well, I heard that from a nun in high school  who told us that we need to be charitable all the time. I am for charity.   Sharing what others urgently need and don't have, that is charity. Sharing a bathroom is a pet peeve. Even though the need to use the bathroom is always an urgent case,  I'd rather wait for a while to use my own at home. Thank goodness, I'm pre-menopausal and still cont...

I was in Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf after work today.  I was planning to catch up on my reading for an upcoming exam.  I was hoping for peace and quiet since it was still around noon time expecting that the coffee shop will be almost deserted.  Unfortunately, there were lots of people hanging out in the coffee shop for business, pleasure and a couple of them like me, for academics. I was trying to read my book a bit more intently and I had to give more effort than usual.  It was because two ladies were talking a bit too loudly and one of them started to sniff and cry.  The whole coffee shop was hushed for a couple of minutes, probably to listen to the ladies' conversation.  I didn't quite get what they were talking about but I'm quite sure it was about a treacherous man - wild guess. After that incident today, I realized that people need to give more effort on pulling back some of their emotions. I am sympathetic to the lady who is undergoing some terribl...

Three hundred sixty-five days is enough time to come up with something. And this year, I practically started with nothing. The year 2011 is about my career goals. But while setting them, I was able to start with a temporary one just enough to keep some money on the pocket. It had been a fun year learning a new trade and that was online teaching. I even got to South Korea just because of it. It was a fun job. Truly! For the first time since I stopped practicing my profession, my dad seemed proud of what I was doing! But because I have to grow and be what I have been trained to become, I chose the rocky much harder career climb. For the next four years, I will be committed to nothing but hospital work. I'm scared but for my daughter, I have to go through it. 2012 marks the end of a carefree life and the beginning of new responsibilities!